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Go home show for the ladder match PPV. Lets see how it goes. Although to sum up how uninteresting this show was, I’ll just note that the biggest talking point on Tuesday morning was Jim Ross being edited out of the WWE opening video package. Replaced by Michael Cole of course. Mr David Meltzer reported that it was apparently because of the association with UFC, and of course Vince can’t punish The Rock or Austin these days. Other additions to the video are more clips of Morrison, Miz, Sheamus, Gorgeous George, the Undertaker’s BONG and a closing image of Cena from Wrestlemania 26.

Here’s tonight’s main event;

Darren Young apparently died after that close call with the announce table.

CAN THE ODDS BE OVER-COME?

Cena opens the show, cutting a promo on Nexus. Ten seconds in he did lame comedy about Sheamus. He talked about how Sheamus didn’t make the save last week and still fails to see that they need to work together to defeat Nexus. The crowd started out very pro-Cena but as the promo went on the boos grew louder. It was literally as though they were getting more agitated by his lame material. He said he was going to replace Sheamus’ heart with his… butt. UGH.

"Fuck you, internet."

Cena said Sheamus could prove he was the real deal on Sunday. He did more lame jokes. He says Sheamus is a two time champ because Cena fell through a table the first time and Nexus interfered the second. Oh man. Fookin’ berried. What a line. Cena talks about the Nexus match later and Darren Young being deceased.

Then the team of Emo Alphabet Soup appeared on the stage.

The NWO it aint.

Cena said it was the clan known as “NNNNNNNNNNNN”. That was good. Wade said they would destroy Cena later and blah blah blah. Cena got all fired up but then…

BEEP BOOP BEEP.

Michael Cole gots an email from the anonymous GM. Huge heat for this. The crowd hate this shit. Cena says something like “Michael Cole you rascal flascer” or something. This guy. This guy needs to be throwing this shit back in the writers’ faces. He needs to grow a pair and, dare I say it, be a bit more like Hogan. Or Nash. Or Austin. These people may have abused their power to an absurd degree, but there is something to be said for using your standing in the company to your advantage. As the top man in the business Cena should be vetoing this comedy shite, especially within the context of an angle we’re supposed to take seriously. Big “what” chants for Cole. The GM said no one could interfere in the handicap match and Nexus must tag in and out. Rule breaking will warrant suspensions. This segment was heated, but I didn’t enjoy it at all. Cena needs to ditch the comedy in a hurry.

The lovely Eve is on commentary for the next segment. This should be good. Alicia Fox is in action. No heat for her. She needs new music in a hurry. She’s still using stock music. Gail Kim takes on Alicia. Eve sounds absolutely petrified on commentary. It can’t be easy being a diva. Considering half the time you have to just stand around and be pretty, and then all of a sudden you’re a wrestler, and that means you have to do things like go on commentary on live TV with no experience and try and carry an angle off. So yeah, this wasn’t good.  The match wasn’t better. No heat for this early on. One dork tried to get a Daniel Bryan chant going. It’s over dude, move on. King tries to put over how Alicia is improving in the ring and talks about how she always has new moves. Sure. Then Alicia hits the Axe-kick of death. COMPLETE DEATH.

Jesus.

Cole gets another email. Because Alicia was dastardly last week, Eve gets a title match on Sunday. One PPV; two womens’ title matches. Oh dear.

The Hart Dynasty are out. For all the bitching people did about tag team wrestling in 2009 and how the Harts should have the belts and not Jericho and Big Show, the titles are significantly worse off on the Harts than they have been on other teams. A team of two stars will always mean more for titles and title matches than a team of two dorks. Just because the champs wear similar tights and have a gimmick name doesn’t make the state of tag team wrestling any better. Tag team wrestling is good when it’s good and people care. Speaking of not caring, the Usos are taking on the Harts. It feels like these two have been feuding for years. I’m so bored of this. And isn’t this the title match on Sunday? I guess the girls are involved here and wont be at the PPV. The match is pretty enjoyable though. I like the Usos even if no one else cares. It’s spooky how much David Hart looks just like Davey Boy Smith. Jimmy Uso pins Dave with a splash, setting up the title match on Sunday. This was what it was.

Jericho and Wade Barret are conferring backstage. Jericho refuses to comment to Mathews. Barret then turns his attention to Yoshi Tatsu who made the save last week. Tatsu says something in Asian, Barret pulls this face and says;

"YOU WOT?!"

LOL.

Then Nexus do a hate crime on Tatsu and the crowd boos. David Otunga grabs Yoshi in a MUAY THAI CLINCH and gives him an extremely sloppy, homo-erotic beating. That is hilarious. Then Tarver hits him once and as usual decides to make himself look like as big a goon as possible.

O_O

DiBiase and Maryse head to the ring. They’re really trying with DiBiase. They dressed him up real sharp, gave him the belt, gave him the hot girl. But to be honest Maryse is just leagues ahead of the guy in terms of charisma and look and… just everything. Speaking of which;

Hawt.

Ted says he must introduces the hottest couple in WWE. Referring of course to himself and the Money in the Bank briefcase.

Je suis unimpressed.

Ted says when he wins the title he’ll shower Maryse in gifts and what not. He says he’s going to win “Money in Bank”. HE’S SO RICH HE DOESN’T CONFORM TO GRAMMAR. John Morrison is out. Oh God. Not during a talking segment. He says Ted shouldn’t shower Maryse in gifts, because the French don’t shower. Oh. I get it. Yeah. Then Maryse said something in French which was hot. Morrison offered to translate. NO. Please no. He did some John Cena comedy which lead to DiBiase beating him up. Morrison made a comeback and tried to hit StarShip Pain but Maryse pulled DiBiase out of the ring. The crowd loved this, but it died for me with Morrison’s promo. But hey, whatever gets the guy over with the crowd, I guess.

They had a wacky graphic for the Brady Bunch skits. Oh by the way, there was Brady Bunch skits. Florence something or other was hosting and she was the Mam on that show. Santino was backstage with her and it was implied he wanted to fuck her. There was a laugh track. They built up a tag team match later between Santino’s team and Regal’s team. Regal interrupted. He did some bad joke about Gilligan being the GM of RAW and did the greatest face off all time;

Regalol

Regal got slapped by Flo’. This was zany and I laughed.

Edge video package again. The same one from last week; hyping Money in the Bank. This was good stuff.

Randy Orton vs. Edge. Orton’s pop was ridiculous. So many internet critics like to bitch about how he’s not a good face but the crowd would disagree.

Voices etc.

The contrast between the skin tones of these two men is weird. Orton is like orange. Edge is pasty as hell. Anyway, they had a good back and forth match. Much better than their match at the PPV two months ago. Crowd was loving it. Quick sequence of finisher attempts and signature moves lead to the finish, with Jericho running in and distracting Orton long enough for Edge to win with his Edge-O-Matic. Don’t think I’ve seen that end a match in years. After the match, Edge got a codebreaker and Jericho got an RKO. Evan Bourne ran in and kicked Orton in the face, he went for an AirBourne but Orton turned it into an RKO MID-AIR. That. Fucking. Ruled. Crowd went insane. Great segment.

Mongoloid Steve Austin was backstage. Josh asked him why Nexus were returning to NXT tomorrow. Dude ignored him. Skip then bumped into John Morrison. They had a stare down and Nexus beat up John Morrison. Good beat down segment.

Miz came out and began cutting a promo. Michael Cole got an email. I cannot wait for this gimmick to end. Anyway, long story short, because he injured R-Truth, Miz now has to face his replacement in the ladder match. It’s Mark Henry. So not only do we have to watch a shitty match tonight, but Henry is in the ladder match on Sunday. They brawled to the floor and Mark charged into the GM podium which got a nice thud. Miz poured garbage on Henry and looked intense. His quest to eliminate all minorities continues.

Time for comedy. Team Regal vs. Team Santino. Look at this team of goofs:

Yes that's Doink. Yes it's 2010.

Santino’s team wasn’t a whole load better. It was himself, Khali, Koslov and Goldust. Poor Ryder deserves better than this. To cut a long, tedious story short; they had a short, shite match with some lame comedy. Afterward, Ms Brady Bunch made out with Khali. And I mean made out. Gross.

CM Punk/Money in the Bank video package. Again, good stuff. WWE never disappoint in this department.

"Sorry Jeff, we're sending you back to Orlando."

Edge cut a promo where he ripped off Orton’s gimmick. Lots of talk about voices in heads and what not. I’m very bored of this man.

Bourne was getting medical treatment backstage. Who should saunter up?

"Awight Fella"

Sheamus! Direct quote, above. He cuts a very Irish promo using various terms that I’m sure confused Americans. Do they know what “lads” means. Sheamus basically anticipated Evan. Nexus walked up and Sheamus said Bourne was singing Cena’s praises. Nexus beat up Bourne. Quite a vicious beatdown too. Good stuff there. Then Nexus came up to Sheamus. Skip threatened him and he RAN. HE FUCKING SPRINTED OFF. Like a dear.

RUN, WHITEBOY, RUN!

He asked a stagehand where Cena was.

Cena vs. Nexus. This was about as good as a six on one match can be. They worked over Cena, who would make occasional comebacks only to get cut off and outnumbered. Simple stuff. Cena took a bunch of finishers before eventually being pinned by Gabriel after the 450 splash. Right move there.  Not even Cena should be able to withstand six on one. Cena then attacked Barret and got a chair from ringside. He hit Slater and Nexus regrouped. They surrounded the ring and got ready to attack. Seemingly out of nowhere, Cena was busted open. Just when all was lost, Sheamus ran down for the save with a chair. First thing he did? Accidentally dropped it out of the ring. Nice one fella! Show ended with the two rivals who are supposed to be in a cage match on Sunday, standing tall with chairs.

Very typical Raw. There wasn’t a lot of wrestling, but what we got was good. There was some good promos. Some bad promos. The Nexus angles were good. They weren’t great. There was some laughs, but there was a lot more unfunny groans. It was just Raw. The biggest issue though was that it really sold no pay-per-views. This is the problem with running an angle on your TV that you’re not ready to follow up on PPV. They don’t want to do a Nexus PPV match just yet because it’s too early, so they’re doing Sheamus vs. Cena but that’s not what’s given priority on the TV, so ultimately there is no interest in the program.

5/10