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We got a video package putting over Abyss, and talking about the mysterious “they”. Tenay opened the show telling us Angelina Love and Kurt Angle’s careers were on the line tonight. Funny stuff.

Ultimate X Match (Win also attainable by Submission): Doug Williams (c) retain; def. Brian Kendrick (Submission win)

Very fun earlier on as they remained on the ground.  Just some good chain wrestling. Kendrick tied Williams up in the tree of woe. This prompted Taz to tell the ref to break up the illegal hold. In this Ultimate X match. First big spot was a back suplex off the top rope from Williams. Then more ground work. Doug chased Kendrick up the X structure. Taz noted that Williams seemed to have miraculously overcome his fear of heights. Kendrick got knocked off the structure and hung on the ropes. Williams then jumped off the X. Stupid. Why not just climb? He went outside, pulled out a glove and slapped Kendrick with it. That was great. He put on the gloves and began climbing the structure. Like any other X Division guy. Fear of heights; ignored. Kendrick followed and tried to hook some kind of move on Williams but they both fell. What a failure. Then Williams locked on a submission and won. Worst Ultimate X match I’ve ever seen. **

Brother Ray cut a typically good heel promo. He asked Christy if she was going to cry. She screamed no. That was that.

Brother Ray def. Brother Devon and Jesse Neal

As he made his entrance, Brother Ray hid at the announce table. He jumped Jesse, mid entrance. What a goon. No Devon. The cut backstage where they showed Devon’s locker-room barricaded shut with the sound of Devon’s voice calling out to “BUBBA”. I dunno who that is. What ensued was the same lame match we got last match. Bubba just beat the guy up for a while. The ECW dorks appeared in the crowd and distracted Bubba. Neal speared him and he kicked out. Wow. Why? Why kick out of the guy’s finish? Jesse looked like such a twerp in this match. Moore ran down. Bubba used a chair while the ref was distracted with Moore. It’s a fucking three way. Since when do DQs count? Devon finally came out. They teased him hitting Jesse but him and Bubba began fighting. Neal tried to spear Bubba but got Devon. Then Neal was bubba-bombed and pinned. Again, what a dork. This was complete shit. DUD

Knockouts Title vs. Career Match: Angelina Love wins title; def. Madison Rayne via DQ.

The breasts in this match. Good lord. I mean. Good lord. Also; Madison had a wedgie. A big one. Oh my. This is why I watch TNA. Match was pretty solid. Two ladies here who are getting better. There was of course some bullshit. Madison brought a chair in the ring. Not a DQ. Angelina kicked it in her face. Not a DQ. Then… someone drove in on a motorcycle. I am not lying. This is what happened. They cut to the crowd and some leather wearing chick with a helmet was in the crowd revving her motorbike. The motor chick ran in and beat up Angelina. DQ. The ref said it was a DQ and the title went to Angelina. But the stipulation was “the title will change hands if a BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE member ran in”. As Taz correctly assessed; we do not know if this is a Beautiful People member. This would be a great heel move (without the motor bike, but with the helmet) but they fucked it up by having the referee just assume it was a member of the BPs and awarding the title to Love. Fucked up finish. And a fucked up title change. 1/2*

Anderson cuts a promo. He does his asshole shtick. He talked Christy’s tits. He discussed his opponents and made pot references about RVD. This was not good.

AJ and Kaz are out for their tag match. Their opponents are; ROB TERRY. Yes, Rob Terry. He’s just back now. That’s dumb. His other opponent; SOMOA JOE! Now that’s a smart move.

AJ Styles and Kazarian def. Samoa Joe and Rob Terry

So Kaz and AJ taking on this new dream team. Early on Kaz and AJ couldn’t work together and neither wanted any of Rob Terry. They got decimated as both faces ran wild. Then they started to work together, as Tenay explained; they realise they have to work together to overcome these odds. That’s a good story for the match. Flair wants them to work together and during this match they realise they have to. Thumbs up there. They dominated the faces and worked them over. Match was very enjoyable. AJ and Kaz win when Desmond runs in, trying to gain favour with Flair. Joe beat up Desmond. Good stuff. ***

Abyss cuts a promo with Christy on his “girl”. The stick covered in nails that is. He talks a whole lot about THEY. THEY made him make the stick. THEY showed him how. And he was paving the way for THEM. Dumb. Taz says the stick isn’t legal in the four way match later. It should be and I’ll wager a weapon is used later and no one does anything.

Cage Match:  Hernandez def. Matt Morgan

This took forever to start. They talked about it forever. There was a video package. Then they looked at the cage forever. What took them so long? It was up and ready a good five minutes before this started. It was “escape rules” only. Fucking why? This is just a night of vintage TNA. Just bullshit left, right and centre. They brawled early and an awesome spot from Hernandez; Morgan was crotched on the top rope and Hernandez did a springboard of the top rope into a dropkick on Morgan. Great. Lots of cage use, early. Morgan dominated, eventually hitting his Footprint kick thing with Hernandez on the top rope. He posed for like a full minute. He could have just walked out. This was so stupid. Then he went back to work on Hernandez. So many times this happened. Eventually he went to the door but decided to go back in. Ah, vintage heel move that. Hernandez makes a comeback and climbs the cage. He does a dive OFF THE TOP. Hernandez here. This giant. Anyway, it looked like shit and he missed. That looked bad. Morgan then handcuffed Hernandez to the cage and decided to climb. Hernandez of course broke free and did his big dive out the door to the floor. That dive was cool, everything else was shit. 1/2*

Flair promo with Christy on Lethal. She says the world is watching. LOL. Flair cut yet another awesome promo. God, he’s great.

Jay Lethal def. Ric Flair

Lethal’s entrance is so horrible. Bad music, and he has a new robe that says “living the dream”. Ew. To say the least. They did the basics. And I mean the basics. This was a toned down version of every Flair match ever. Tenay said Flair couldn’t go as well as he once could. Because it’s 2010. HIS WORDS. Flair took some chops in the corner, came out doing some punches and did the Flair flop. Is that spot ever not good? I love it. Superplex on Flair. Damn that looked rough. Flair locked on the figure four. Hebner tried to step over the submission but changed his mind half way so it looked like he was just teabagging Lethal. Lethal did the Flair bump over the top rope before strutting 0n the apron to the annoyance of Flair. He hits a sunset flip but Flair tries to escape EXPOSING HIS ASS. Yes. This really is every Flair match ever. But I love it. Lethal wins with the Figure Four. Good stuff this, with great heat. ***

Afterward; Lethal said “Hey mom, I DID IT!” That was sweet.

Jeff Hardy cut a short, shite promo.

Tag Team Championship Match: Motor City Machine Guns become new champions; def. Beer Money Inc.

They put over that Sabin and Shelley have never won the belts before, just as this one begins.  This was awesome. Just awesome. It started in standard form with Beer Money getting the heat on Shelley. Sabin made the best damn babyface comeback I’ve seen in years. Amazing offence, taking out both Beer Money members at the same time. Beer Money comeback and everything was just a flurry of highspots. Scintillating stuff. Guns hit lots of big spots. ROBERT ROODE did a huge tope to the floor. Guns hit an awesome neckbreaker/splash double team on Roode but Storm had the ref blinded with beer. Earl Hebner came to make the count but it was a kick out. They kept going back and forth with lots of near falls. But get this everyone… the finish was shit. Yeah. No, seriously. I know. SHOCKING. So, Brian Hebner, the original referee came too. And instead of Earl leaving or whatever, they just both refereed the match. Stupidity. AND OF COURSE, we got the double pin finish. Despite the fact that both refs were conscious and should have known who was legal and who wasn’t. So, anyway, the match was immediately restarted.  Hitting their double team move the Guns eventually won. First title for them. Other than the stupidity at the end, this was fabulous in every regard. ****1/4

Kurt Angle def. The Pope

This one was just as you’d expect early. They grappled and went back and forth. Angle dominated with lots of great suplexes, as you’d expect. Pope fought back with some suplexes of his own and a lovely STO. Crowd wasn’t as into this as you might think. Last match exhausted them, it seems. Kurt broke out the rolling germans which the crowd just loved. In another vintage Kurt spot; he played possum as Pope went top rope and got belly to belly’d. Pope hits a version of his DDE (the one that resembles a codebreaker) but Kurt kicked out. Then Pope kicked out of an Angle slam. This is becoming a trend. Kurt is far too dependent on near falls these days, and it’s killing the heat for them as time goes on. Ankle lock from Kurt. Pope fought out of it once, but was caught the second time and tapped. Good match, somewhat under-delivered though, and the Kurt Angle formula is becoming quite transparent. ***1/2

RVD says he’s gonna shove the 2×4 up Abyss’ ass crack.

Four Way Match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship: RVD retains; def. Abyss, Mr. Anderson and Jeff Hardy

Abyss has his stick, of course. Borash does the intros as usual. He’s very good in this role by the way, he announces all matches. Similarly, Christy was very good all night backstage. Abyss was outside the ring at the start. Big love for Anderson. Lots of triple teaming the monster early, with all three men doing ten punches in the corner. Some arguing over the pin, of course. From here, it was just every four way ever. Bunch of brawling, breaking up of moves and pins, and the occasional double team offence. Anderson did a dive to the floor at one stage. That did not look good. This was four guys really not trying hard. These four are not renowned for their work-rate and it really showed here. Very lazy and a bit sloppy in some places. Crowd also didn’t care much as it went on. They did the standard four way tour of doom spot and no one died. I was relieved.  The near falls rolled through and ultimately RVD won with his splash. Not good. *3/4

Abyss tried to use his weapon after the match but RVD avoided it. Lame ending.

The show as a whole was a mixed bag. Some good, some bad. There was more bad than good but the stuff that was good was well worth seeing. I’d say check it out.

6/10